Comfort zone

No man is an island, is such an apt saying for what I'm about to say. Where men exists, so does competition thrive and rivalry grows. In sports that is fine, in Judo and Kendo you can have the shiai. Yet, in budo, there is only an end to conflict, there can be no sporting ending.

In all the days that we've trained in the dojo. When was the last time you tried to improve your tenkan? Or even your kamae? When was the last time you honestly believed that your ikkyo is capable of putting your opponent down in any given situation. Has there been any urgency in your training?

With boxers, fights can occur every two months or so. Each time both fighters will study the other fighter's videos and look for their strengths and weaknesses. They then concentrate on either improving their own standing weapons or develop an arsenal to counteract and exploit the other's weaknesses. For a boxer that continues to build himself up like this cumulatively and gradually, his strength will grow from fight to fight. For another who only builds himself to match his opponent, his career will be shortlived.

Yet, in both cases, those boxers have 'improved' themselves from their baseline. But its different for us Aikidokas. We who do not have competition and matches, we who do not have rivals, where comes our drive and where resides our goals?

Its easy to say, a belt ranking or a generalised 'improve everything' but are we really getting better? Or are we just going to the dojo, doing the same thing again and again without a thought to its development. Are our uke's testing us for weaknesses each time?

I wondered at one time not long ago, whether a technique could later become a skill. I guess it could, if we only develop it to become one. Irrespective if there's a partner to help us or not, we need to train like we are fighting the greatest threat of our lives. After all, this is not a game. There are no comfort zones, there's only death if we are slow and too sure of ourselves.

Step by Step Learning...

I've been trying to incorporate more ashi sabaki practice in our classes. Its amazing how just a part of the entire whole makes such a difference. Thinking about how Osensei and Gozo Shioda always hinted at the power of the toe, I found to my surprise that the toe is in fact very much an important tool in Boxing too... It makes sense after all, you can move all you want from your center, but if your the feet that's holding you up ain't up to it, you won't be moving the way you should be moving.

So, its great after all to be able to do stuff efficiently and naturally. Still if your efficiency level is 100% of a say 10HP leg as opposed to say a 50% efficient opponent who has 100HP legs, than it doesn't take a genius to predict whose going to be coming on top.

Basic training is wonderful. It builds our bases right and it will eventually lead to greater things. Discovering that greater thing though must come from some live experience or random chance. If the teacher tells you, it ain't going to work. Kinda like the Wizards 4th rule or something. So unless you so happen to enter fights every so often that forces you to do stuff on the go, you aren't likely to tap into that greatness. Then, what does it mean in the end? To keep doing Kihon again and again on the off chance that would suddenly discover its secret benefits? In the end, its tantamount to faith. Faith in doing something good without prospect of rewards. That is the way... to go forward even though there no promises of riches at the end of the road. And in that aspect, one of the secret is revealed; development of one's spirit.

Anyway, we practiced moving forward again but this time using ayumi ashi instead of suriashi. I was trying to convey the importance of moving forwards in one continuous cutting motion, continuously expending the spirit onto the opponent. To begin the cut long before we reach striking range and to do so from the first step. It is only then that we can intrude upon their space without being hit first. If we just move and then strike, since they are prepared and we are intruding into their space, they will get the first strike. But by moving and extending our cut long before we reach their space, we have taken control of the moment.

Also, its simply amazing to see suriashi 5 when applied to the shomenuchi drill 2. It makes the whole movement simpler. The key of course is to maintain our kamae on the attacking line and letting the half step be invisible to uke. Then our movement becomes instantaneous on their attack.

Random, disordered meanderings...

I was a bit happy last week when we had a gathering of seniors to practice. Culminating towards Sensei's visit this June I guess. But once a month to gather everyone is really pathetic. Not to mention of course that half the time they'll be training with the beginners in my dojo. Still I do like the fact the practice becomes more intense when the 'outsiders' come in. In a way its a treat.

Still what came after is deflating. Without going into it, I'd want to remind myself that as budoka, its expected for us to go against the odds. Sure a big part of martial strategy is to create winning strategies. Zanshin embodies that concept. The understanding of maai effectively puts that into practice. But in a situation of utter hopelessness, we do not abandon hope. We do not curl up and surrender. We sink our center, tighten the guts, calm our hearts and cut forward. Yet, to be confronted by people who wither away before even the sound of war drums can heard, is utterly mind boggling. What are they doing here in the first place? Tagging along for the fun of it?

Well enough of that. I was thinking I discovered another secret the other day. I was thinking it was possible that a method of extension is imagining your center in your hands. I thought it worked well, but on some people it just didn't happen. Maybe I got it all wrong but I'm going to keep trying it as I move along. Afterall, Sensei said that Kenji Ushiro can displace his center at will. I still don't understand that but... hey here's hoping.

Then quite recently we've been practicing hara projection more and more in class. Not the drills sensei left me because its too difficult for the beginners (actually its pretty difficult for me, so it'll be pointless for the blind leading the blind right?) so I did a variation of it... or what I would think would be a level lower to the original. Instead of a throw, nage walks whilst displacing or uprooting uke.

I think that curving the energy back and emphasising the hand to not lift or sink makes it more target orientated or simpler to do. Practice on the suriashi movements also really help when making a point. The problem with harmonising/awase is that most people become a brick wall when waiting for the strike to come. So by committing nage into a suriashi movement, slowly body unity will override individual hand movement. And hopefully hara gets trained to boot.

I'm really really losing a battle with the kids class though. I've got half the lot monkeying around and half the lot probably getting frustrated with the stuff we're doing. I think its time to do sorewaza techniques instead. Makes all the kids level and removes to much footwork confusion. But some of the kids are not going to handle seiza very well...

I closed today's class with some mumbo jumbo thought that I got whilst closing. We were sitting seiza and I kept still for a few minutes. The funny part is even as I felt the blood in my veins, the breath in my lungs and the, energy tingle in my body... I was pretty still. Yet in this calm and still situation I was anything but still. Everything seem so alive. And I was looking at the others fidgeting about, until I was a bit sorry for them. So I told them that we are human beings and that its impossible to keep still like a statue. Instead thinking about the movement in our body and being calm, we will look utterly still on the outside. Yet we remain alive inside. Its like that in Aikido doesn't it? Not too much external movement if you please, but inside or invisible to the eye, the energy flows enthusiastically.

Kobuta Shihan 11-12 March 2011

The last couple of days was exciting. Attending one of Sensei's closest teacher's seminar, Kobuta Shihan. At the same time, I was quietly amazed at his composure during the teaching and his joviality and focus in the midst of a raging disaster back in Japan. Now I realise why Sensei holds this man in such high regard.

Anyway, true to form, Kobuta Shihan focused his teachings mainly on the basics. For the two days that I was able to attend, we trained in Tai Sabaki and basic ukemi.

1st Day

According to Shihan, there are 14 tai sabaki as shown by Tada Sensei. He showed us the first three today which is basic movement in most Aikido dojos. We can practice a type of variation during paired practice where after tenkan we do not follow with a kaiten but instead doing a reverse step.

We practiced movement with ryotedori. 3 Variations.
1. Movement with both hands up
2. Movement with inner hands down, like pinning using your center.
3. Movement with inner hands empty and left behind.

Movement must be done smoothly without thought to uke. Only chushin. Face forward and extend spirit.

Shihan demonstrated suikomi in attacking as uke.

He demonstrated Irimi as a cut. Irimi, reverse then cut. Irimi, kaiten then cut.
Drawing the sword and cut. Ikkyo is a cut, ura is drawing out and cut.

He showed how 30 years ago, Aikido was practice with attacks. He also talked about the sword that kills and the sword that befriends.

2nd Day

We started with kokyu and misogi. The misogi exercises were primarily to cleanse the organs, particularly the lungs. Extending the hands out and bringing it in, in various forms, using certain vocalisations to create resonant vibrations and also tapping the fingers on our chest and exhaling hard to rid ourselves of negative energy. Smiling as we do our taiso.

After that we continued on the 1st day suriashi. Starting with shizentai and then hidari hanmi and migi hanmi.
We did movement 1, which was basic movement. Movement 2A which was back leg into front and then movement forward. Movement 3A which was back leg into front and an extra long forward movement.
Movement 2B is half step and then back to front and slide forward. Movement 3B is half step and then back to front and extra long movement.

After that in hanmi position we moved in 6 directions using movement 1. Remember priority of movement is the leg closest to the direction we are heading to. Center movement is crucial.

Then we continued into applying this movement into basic techniques. Here, a lot of emphasis is placed on how uke should attack and take ukemi.

Attacking

In attacking we must understand nage's openings. Also grab attacks must have an objective and aliveness to it. Gripping and holding on hard does not make sense and does nothing for our practice. We also do not move by rote. We move because nage's movement changes our role. We do not overreact either or move into compromising positions. Always move in an escalating way.

Taking Ukemi

At first Shihan focused on taking ukemi in a relaxed and natural way. Not to look or lose your attention in Nage, but in accord with his movement. To not shift the body but to remain in relaxed posture and keep chushin as best as you can.  What would start with ushiro ukemi, can later change to mae, yoko and etc. But starting with ushiro we let our body parts learn the ukemi movement and also allow for kaeshi waza.

The Techniques

Today we mostly did ushiro techniques. Nage moves in two different ways. One way is the sword stance where you walk normally. The other is the jo stance where you maintain the same hanmi all the way. At the same time, kamae is very important here. To maintain chushin, extension and spirit.

Ushiro happens because nage moves out of line and nage catches the lead hand. Nage continues his stride, and uke grabs nage in the most natural way. Either neck, back, shoulder, hand depending on the distance. At all times, uke is maintaining control and keeping safe distance.

From this ushiro ryotedori and etc position, nage can move in 4 different ways. But 90% of the time is a tenkan movement from the rear leg. Still we can practice from the front leg as well as a irimi-kaiten movement from the front or back leg instead of tenkan.

In the various techniques we did, kotegaishe, iriminage and kokyu nage, Shihan made an emphasis on Shihonage-like movement or kotegaishe-like movement. For shihonage-like movement it starts with the hand shape. As your hands goes up, you add a turn of the wrist to face inwards before moving. And as we make our taisabaki, our hands join together like a gathering motion. For kotegaishi as we bring our hands up we just cut down as usual.

Both movements however, Shihan showed a joining or meeting of power and then an expansion to complete the technique. Bringing together the power is portrayed by the touching both hands together in the middle of the technique.

During our movement, we must also move like we are holding a weapon. Cutting a line out and understanding that line as we move. You can do this by looking at the cut, instead of thinking about uke. Imagine that cut as a line being drawn on the tatami as you move along. This also plays well if use chushin to guide that cut, our taisabaki becomes more natural.

In practice, yudansha's must move before uke. He does not wait but move like there are hundreds of opponents. Cut, cut and cut. Uke reacts to this movement. Nage doesn't attack though however. Nor does he avoid or move at random. He moves and then blends with uke's reactions. He moves to create oppenings.

Besides the ushiro techniques, we also did a bit of ryotedori. Primarily shihonage. In this practice, ai hanmi for omote movements and gyaku hanmi for ura. For ura, you can do it in 2 ways. One is tenkan, bring the hands up and cut. The other is tenkan, kaiten and cut. A very slight difference if at all when you look at it, but the feeling is different.

Shihan also showed a bit of relaxed and fluid response using suriashi. Uke counters nage's first movement by trying a shihonage of his own, nage fluidly reverse steps and gets kokyunage automatically.

Closing the class, with sorewaza kokyunage, we did a few variations. From a top grab. Bring up and cut uke.     A reverse hand grab i.e. from underneath and uke using structure to hold against nage, cut down and out. A side grab and pulling into center, nage drops center with empty hands and envelopes uke with suikomi and absorb into center and extending uke's hands and then use chushin to throw.

Sorry for the Lack of Recent Updates

I haven't been writing much since Sensei's last visit. Then, it was the shortness of time that prevented me from adding anything new, what with driving Sensei around for classes, juggling work and family at the same time. Recently its been more than that...

Sure, more work coming in, little issues cropping up here and there to be addressed, extra classes have all contributed to my procrastination... and the fact that I have new toy to play with didn't help much either (blame the Ipad everyone). But the truth is, I'm finding it harder and harder to put anything on paper (ok, in writing) when each time I see something, I realise that I'm only seeing a small aspect of it. The truths that I thought was real, is only partly so. There is no correct way, there are only imperfections.

My training now I suppose is about getting rid of imperfections. Am I still trying to figure out how things work, definitely! But its no longer the top thing on my list. I figure if Sensei can redraw the line, and order all his students to go back to Kihon and forget about Aiki for now... who am I to argue. Yes, there will always be the inclination to try some tricks some of the time, and I guess that's the spice of Aikido. Its why I can make this thing work for me and the reason I don't need to practice Muay Thai or Krav Maga for example. Work through the injuries, illness, inflexibility and age? Please...

Still, if there's anything at all that I'm really working on right now is extending through the little fingers. It was so interesting when Joe Thambu told me to use weight underside in Kamae and how he thought it really really important. Weight underside if you look at it, really makes extending into the little finger easier to do. Yet when I first started Aikido I didn't really understand what weight underside meant. (Having only recently and vaguely come to understand what extension is all about, it doesn't really say much about me does it...). Its funny that it can take years and years before some other things come into the picture that paints clarity into some obscure thing that have left you puzzling before.

Anyway, I just wanted to write that I've been dreading writing anything more in this blog. Not so much that it'll make me look stupid for someone in the know, but afraid that I'll be giving you the readers something wrong to digest. I've reiterated before, that each time I write, its really a reflection of my understanding at that particular time. Not that it isn't without mistake even then, but as sure as wine turns to vinegar, understanding will change with time.

Ah... I thought I came upon a revelation the other day. About ateru no less... just extend through a line I thought. But then about the sudden burst of energy? How do I reconcile that bit? Until what I can do mirrors what Sensei is doing, I'll be damn if I admit I understand ateru one bit.

Joe Thambu's Restrain & Removal Seminar

I was at his seminar last Sunday and it was interesting to see in addition to Aikidokas, we had people from Silat and law enforcement agencies coming in as well. Sensei Thambu is his typical humble self, not much on ceremony and ever willing to share whilst Sensei Ramlan as earnest as ever. You won't want to mess with his family because it reminds me of the TV show No Ordinary Family... you know the guy who plays the Thing in Fantastic Four? Sensei Ramlan not only looks like the guy, but his wife, his daughter, this 2 sons (that I know of) were all on the mat that day as well.

Anyway, Joe Sensei started the day with a simple demonstration of the difference between Reacting and Acting. Uke stands in front of nage and positions his finger a couple of inches away from nage's nose. He will touch nage's nose if he sees any movement from nage's hands. Nage tries to grab the finger before uke can touch him. If you try it, and you're not Bella from Twillight before she got turned into 'one of em', you'd probably be able to grab his finger even though your hands started far off from your nose compared to his. The reason is very simple and that's because your uke is not reacting to you. He's waiting for something to trigger his response, whilst you are just acting. That's why Acting is faster than Reacting.

This really translates to the street situation. Most bad guys know their potential victims, most victims don't know who the bad guys are. The faster your ability to gauge or discern a threat, the better your chances are simply because instead of reacting you can then act. But typical of LEA (Law Enforcement Agency) standards,  we can't attack a bad guy just because of a potential threat not unless the threat has manifested itself. If however we go by that rule all square, we won't last in the business very long. Thus, the job of the good guy then is to turn the situation so that the bad guy has to react and this can done in an assortment of ways. Typically you can engage him by positioning yourself more dynamically instead of waiting, this can even start from a hand shake or a misdirection, but typically just interrupting the attack line and getting a superior positioning is the order of the game.

To start things off, we did the basic Yoshinkan H-tai sabaki set. This set is really great stuff. In most Aikikai schools we show the students all sort of tai sabaki movements and it takes ages for them to remember anything. But with the H, you're immediately trained to move 3 ways left and right in a matter of minutes.

After that we did several techniques throughout the day that were basically Goshin waza of the typical Aikido sets. We did 2 primary pins, one from that had us kneeling on a point on uke, and the other where we actually sat on him and controlled his arms with our legs. In both pins, a single arm free and mobility had to be present to deal with additional threats.

We also did a few come-alongs, one from a modified gokkyo, another from a reverse guillotine. Joe Sensei didn't advocate a normal choke and walking backwards unless you have a partner pulling your belt along to guide you.

After that we did some knife drills where both uke and nage are armed and doing deflect and strike drills. It wasn't as complicated as Arnis drills but was probably sufficient for those exposed to knife work for the first time. Joe Sensei really knows how to maximise the transmission of knowledge to the participants, anything more complex and it would have been a total mess. The drills we did weren't without some food for thought. In blocking we're not aiming to stop the hand, but more about diverting it from our centerline and we achieve this by creating our own path to uke with our hands, some cross attacks require redirecting into a trapping position. We're not moving much but when we do, we are to imagine a line between uke and nage's head and maintaining that distance. Joe Sensei emphasised awareness of the opponent's triangle and not his arms. For most of us that means eyeballing the shoulders. For me I prefer shoulders to feet, but Joe Sensei can look at his opponent's eyes and still get the same awareness going. That's good if you're doing enforcement a lot because minus eye contact and the other party is going to get jumpy.

We also did some chokes and pressure point compliance. Those were not too fun because some of the participants here think they need to break uke's neck. Most of those didn't know the difference between a choke and a break the other guy's windpipe. Especially with my scrawny neck, things were getting decidedly painful until I showed them the difference. This especially highlights the importance of maintaining your safety awareness in seminars. More than once I had uke's going for a real strike to the throat that would had been injurious if I hadn't reacted, it was a miracle no one had real serious injuries that day.

One thing I have to remember is using hara and chushin at all times even though its a departure from typical waza. That is probably a reminder that we've become too much a creature of habit. When it comes to kihon and nagare, sure we're using what we've learned... then when things fall out of pattern and become spontaneous, we lose control of our chushin and hara movements as well...

At the close, Joe Sensei helped check out my kamae. It was great, he didn't impose his way on me but he showed me how it could be done and what makes it work. There is a single plane from the back heel all the way to the top of our head. I told him how we were expected to move, i.e. center drops and the feet shift to compensate. He showed me his back feet pushing the body forward and in alignment. Obviously its easier to do and understand that way. Makes me wonder if that's a better proposition for our beginners.

Anyway, I love the session and have the deepest gratitude for Sensei Joe, and Sensei Ramlan for the invitation.  Back in the UK, the BAB doesn't make any distinctions when it comes to the sharing of knowledge, senseis from Aikikai, Yoshinkan and Ki Society are all invited into the same event to teach and learn from each other. Ultimately this benefits all of the students and Aikido itself, and isn't it a wonder... create more harmony? Here in Malaysia, we're still a bit petty when it comes to things like this, perhaps drawn out of fear from what Hombu would do if they found out and yeah we hear stories like that all the time... but at the end of the day, are we learning Aikido from Hombu's pat on our head or from the teachers and partners who are willing to teach us and train with us?

Duty and Responsibility

Sensei has just gone back. Yet the burden which is not a burden has not lighten in the slightest. In this 3 weeks that he has been here, he has taught us much. Some I have seen, some totally new. Whilst I can say that I have learned much in the time he was here, there are many things left that I have to learn. Not just the refinement of Aikido waza and tai sabaki, but also the principles and foremost.. the matters of the heart.

In Budo one requires 3 things:
1. Self Abandonment
2. Self Sacrifice
3. Duty and Responsibility

Every human being, implicit in his nature, cultivates self preservation. Even with the foreknowledge of death, we strive to continue our existence by procreation or other youth fulfilling endeavours. To embrace its opposite, or Self Abandonment is perplexing. And truly this can only be achieved if we are able to understand self sacrifice.

I've mentioned earlier about sacrifice. Perhaps long ago, people understood sacrifice. Nowadays, sacrifice is becoming more of a rarity. You sacrifice time, blood and sweat for something. Its not a trade. You are not buying something in exchange for those, you're sacrificing. It is the hope that with that sacrifice that something good would arise out of it, but its not a barter trade, or a guaranteed exchange. That's the meaning of sacrifice.

It also entails a purpose. Usually a purpose of higher calling. That's where Duty and Responsibility comes to play. We are able to perform Self Abandonment because we can begin to Sacrifice, but in order to sacrifice our purpose is carved from Duty and Responsibility.

Besides this, Sensei reminded us of Knowledge, Wisdom and Truth. Most of us have gathered to train under him seeking knowledge. But how many intend to use that knowledge with wisdom? And how many of that to seek the truth? Sensei has said that Aikido is not his ultimate aim in life. You cannot bring waza or Aiki skills to the grave, you can't leave it behind to your children to trade with, surely there is a purpose to all the hours spent training and teaching others this art? Aikido is a perfect tool to understand spirituality, but only if you understand what it is you are looking for and only if you understand the meaning of its practice. As sure as some of us are stuck in the fixed forms of religion, most Aikidoka's are stuck in their waza practice. But seeking the essence, one can begin to understand of the existence of a true path. Not just an implied 'Do'.

Before his arrival here, I have wondered at what are the steps that I have to go through to achieve his understanding. Surely I cannot start at where he is now. Should I follow on his steps through Yoshinkan, Shin Shin Toitsu, Aikikai, Daito Ryu and Kashima Ryu? Follow sensei I think to myself, yet he is showing everything and I don't understand where to begin. Luckily I did not even have to ask, because Sensei has formulated a system to practice now. Where before we did basic, intermediate and advance skills interchangeably... now we have a more basic methodology in training using our waza. From Kamae, to half to hanmi. In this very simple methodology, one can strengthen the core or the first set of principles using Kamae waza than the 2nd set of principles using half hanmi and the final set using hanmi. All the time the stances being a starting point to develop both body, ki and aiki understanding. What an amazing system! Simple but effective.

My only worry is that there's no one here to monitor my mistakes whilst training this way. It can only mean that I have to be more vigilant in my training more than ever.

Something Sensei Ramlan said last night striked a chord within me. Much as Sensei has sometimes mentioned why Kobuta sensei always taught something new to the Indonesians but only repeated what his done the year before with the Malaysians, I thought it did not apply to us. (Whilst the Indonesians will train hard in the year what has been taught before, and Kobuta Sensei could see the progress and teach them something new the following year, the Malaysians will practice during the visit and completely forget to train that way the entire year. Thus by the next visit, nothing has changed.) But I can see that we too are culpable. Maybe some of the students have failed to show what they have learned, but as Senpai's we are responsible. Maybe we ourselves have failed to improved on what has been taught to us...

For me, our responsibility foremost is to our Sensei. To learn what he has to teach, and to practice diligently. Sometimes we forget some things that has been taught, sometimes we practice wrongly and make mistakes and sometimes we misunderstood the lessons. To make it all the more difficult, we are without anyone else to guide us here. Our next responsibility is to the junior students here... to guide them as we would ourselves, but to also cultivate them individually through understanding. This is part of our training, to be sensitive and learn about feeling instead of just blundering through or being a robotic parrot.

At one point in time, I thought about stopping to write in this blog. It seems so self righteous or self indulgent to write of things that I can barely understand. For all I know my writing can lead other people astray. But I realise, that to write this down is to record my understanding at every stage and that to use the mind we have been given is our own responsibility. Thus I do my duty, let everyone do theirs.