I haven't been writing much since Sensei's last visit. Then, it was the shortness of time that prevented me from adding anything new, what with driving Sensei around for classes, juggling work and family at the same time. Recently its been more than that...
Sure, more work coming in, little issues cropping up here and there to be addressed, extra classes have all contributed to my procrastination... and the fact that I have new toy to play with didn't help much either (blame the Ipad everyone). But the truth is, I'm finding it harder and harder to put anything on paper (ok, in writing) when each time I see something, I realise that I'm only seeing a small aspect of it. The truths that I thought was real, is only partly so. There is no correct way, there are only imperfections.
My training now I suppose is about getting rid of imperfections. Am I still trying to figure out how things work, definitely! But its no longer the top thing on my list. I figure if Sensei can redraw the line, and order all his students to go back to Kihon and forget about Aiki for now... who am I to argue. Yes, there will always be the inclination to try some tricks some of the time, and I guess that's the spice of Aikido. Its why I can make this thing work for me and the reason I don't need to practice Muay Thai or Krav Maga for example. Work through the injuries, illness, inflexibility and age? Please...
Still, if there's anything at all that I'm really working on right now is extending through the little fingers. It was so interesting when Joe Thambu told me to use weight underside in Kamae and how he thought it really really important. Weight underside if you look at it, really makes extending into the little finger easier to do. Yet when I first started Aikido I didn't really understand what weight underside meant. (Having only recently and vaguely come to understand what extension is all about, it doesn't really say much about me does it...). Its funny that it can take years and years before some other things come into the picture that paints clarity into some obscure thing that have left you puzzling before.
Anyway, I just wanted to write that I've been dreading writing anything more in this blog. Not so much that it'll make me look stupid for someone in the know, but afraid that I'll be giving you the readers something wrong to digest. I've reiterated before, that each time I write, its really a reflection of my understanding at that particular time. Not that it isn't without mistake even then, but as sure as wine turns to vinegar, understanding will change with time.
Ah... I thought I came upon a revelation the other day. About ateru no less... just extend through a line I thought. But then about the sudden burst of energy? How do I reconcile that bit? Until what I can do mirrors what Sensei is doing, I'll be damn if I admit I understand ateru one bit.
